AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ok...today is a difficult day. I am not handling all of this well at all! It really started Sunday I think. We kept my niece all weekend, and she and David played NON-STOP for 2 days! They had so much fun. Then Sunday, our friends brought their two little girls over, and we kept them until after church Sunday night. Then....all of the sudden...it crashed. Everyone left within about 5 minutes of each other, and David looked at me with teary eyes and said, "I'm lonely." All I could say is, "I know you are baby, and I'm sorry." It went downhill from there.

I don't think it hit me until today how sad I really am. We keep running into these little snags here and there that make the paperwork process even longer. It's nothing major, and really nothing that can't be delt with, but I don't want to anymore. I want it to be done. Why does it have to be such a drawn out process? And I don't mean just the adoption. I guess I am really struggling with the whole process of wanting another child. It is SO EASY for some people. They don't even want more kids, yet here they come! More kids. And I'm happy for them!! I really am! Yet here we are, would LOVE to have one, and everything about it is hard. I don't know. It's a pity party I guess.

I think everyone I know is pregnant. That's not easy either. It doesn't make me any less excited for them, but I'm ready to be excited for us! My head knows God has an AMAZING plan with all of this, and I just keep telling him I know it will be and I trust him!!! It just doesn't make my heart hurt any less.

Thank you for continuing to pray for us. It's just a down time right now. The excitement is wearing off and we see no light at the end of this tunnel. We're still moving, but we just don't see it. We knew this was going to happen, because we were warned. Carla has been great to tell us how it normally goes. It just doesn't make it easier. We're extremely greatful for Carla, and Emily at Embraced by Grace. She is so patient with me through all of my questions. Pray for them too! They are having to deal with me!!! lol

We are very greatful for you guys too!!! It is nice to know there are people out there that care so much about us. We praise God for you guys!!!